work

So I've been a nurse for about 8 months now and it still feels like I just started! I feel so young and inadequate. There are times when I'm not sure if I even picked the right career. why am I doing this?! I wonder. This job can be crazy stressful. You have the potential of really hurting someone if you are not always paying attention...and I guess I knew this when I decided to be a nurse but it never really hit me until I had my own patients that depended on ME for their care. SCARY.  I have to stick babies with needles, give nasty medicine, wake kids and parents up all night. I have to hear bad news, see families that don't care, and see some of the worst things people do to the innocent. I get yelled at by doctors, by other nurses, by families, and by every other service in the hospital. I have hundreds of things to do and very little/rushed time to do them. This is hard. There are days I feel like crying...sometimes I feel like giving up. and no one seems to understand. I've thought about going back to school to study something different. Maybe one day I will but I think for now this is what I am supposed to be doing. I found this poster I made my first semester of nursing school and I wrote some of the reasons I chose to do this in the first place. Hard work  equals helping others was one of the things I wrote. I chose to do this crazy stressful and challenging job to help others.
I learn something new every time I work...which is kind of cool. It's NEVER boring or predictable. It always makes me smile when I'm holding a baby and think..."this is my job to hold a baby!" I get to meet some pretty wonderful and resilient kids. I hear good news, see miracles, and watch kids go home. I'm able to be someone's advocate during a vulnerable time. I am constantly amazed at the strength my patients have.

I guess every job will have it's ups and downs right? When I look back at the points I have felt most overwhelmed I realize that I had forgotten why I'm doing what I'm doing. I forget that I'm not really the one in charge but God is. I forget that these are people that are scared and sick...this is not just another day at work it is an important day in some person's life.  I'm sure there will be many times in this career that I feel completely overwhelmed. But if I just remember EVERY single day I go into work...the reason I am there and the things those patients are going through, I think I can do this. If I give my worries and stresses and inadequacies to God....I think I can do this. If I go to work excited, happy, positive and in a great mood...If I keep my dream of doing medical missions in sight... If I continue to learn and grow and stand up for myself and my kiddos...I think I can do this.   Just pray for me!!!

babies!

Marriage

I just came back from a beautiful wedding this weekend. The bride and groom are amazing and great examples of people ready for that huge leap into marriage.  For the past month at church I have heard about having healthy relationships and ending the series with something like this, was perfect. I honestly think people take things to lightly when it comes to marriage...and the relationships that precede it. The promises they make at the alter are often broken in just a few short years when things get tough and they both realize it's not some fairy tale every day. Sometimes, I think people get wrapped up in wanting to plan some pretty wedding or keeping up with all their other friends that are married, that they can easily forget to plan for what's beyond that one day. I mean...have you ever really thought about what marriage means?!...you leave your father and mother and become ONE, that's some big stuff there. So how do you find that person God wants you with????  In the series, my preacher answered that with this----you become the person the person you're looking for is looking for. Crazy sounding but so true. If you're a partier, you'll probably end up finding another partier. If you want someone with a good relationship with God, you first have to have that good relationship. It makes sense right? I guess it starts with becoming the true you, the you God created you to be and giving your heart to Him before giving it to anyone else. You have to find comfort and contentment in God alone, because no man/woman will be able to fill certain parts of your heart. When you're able to love yourself along with the One that made you, giving yourself to someone else...becoming one with them....can become a lot less complicated and make some sense...(if you've got God's love in you..just imagine the love you'll be able to give to others!) . Do I think it will be easy? No. I think it takes work...every day. There are things out there that want to break a God thing up, that say it's okay to look at that man/woman or cheat or go to that club or email your ex or go to that website or work all the time...or whatever it may be. It's not okay. A thought becomes a desire which becomes something you try to fulfill. ....okay I'm rambling so I'll end. Here are some quick points I remember from the sermons that I think are very useful. 


For the women--- treat your man like a man. He is a leader. Support Him. submit to Him.

For the men---stand up for your woman. Love her like Christ loves the Church. treat her with respect.

For the couple--- God first...always.  prepare before hand. Know each other. Fight for each other every day. Sacrifice. Serve. encourage. Hold each other accountable. Challenge each other to grow. LOVE (1st Corinthians 13...substitute your name in where Love is and be like that) and remember they are a Child of the most High God.



Hopefully, when you think you've found that special one you'll be able to see that you are able to worship and serve God better together than alone...and that it's not all about flowers and dresses but something deeper. something rooted in a promise that can never be broken.

Allelujah, thine the glory

The meaning of Allelujah, Hallelujah--->>
The word stems from the standard Hebrew word, Halleluya, which loosely translates to mean “Praise God.”


I love this song...I love that it speaks about praising God in hardships, in loss, in disease,  ...He is the Hope, He is the glory. and we are only revived...refreshed, made anew, brought back to life/with new vigor and spirit through Him!  :)

Things to work on....be healthier

Alright, so I have lots of stuff I need to work on with myself so here's to the beginning...here's to my account of working on them. Enjoy. It's never to late to learn something or try something or to do something different!!


1. Lose weight, exercise, eat healthier (be healthier)
- This has been on my resolution list for about 15 years, no kidding. I do admit that my past failed attempts are quite embarrassing... but once again I'm going to try at it again!!! This is how it usually goes for me. Day 1.  I get super excited and motivated, set a crazy goal of losing an unhealthy amount of weight in an unhealthy amount of time, cut out all food I love, and plan on exercising 5 hours a day every day. Day 2. I begin...after the last cookie from the cookie jar of course....I work out and am pumped. Day 3. I am tired, I continue working out but it's with no enthusiasm. Day 4...I think I'll take a rest...maybe I can have some ice cream, I just ran a mile so that will make up for it. Day 5. uggh. I have to work later, I'm tired... How bout I start this again later??! I never see any results anyway!!!

....haha. okay, so that's kinda how it goes. Sometimes I make it for a few weeks, sometimes even a couple of months. But somewhere I fall off the track and get back into my bad habits then feel guilty and disappointed in myself for failing...again. You'd think after all these failed attempts I'd learn something, but I never did. I would just switch up the diet or the time frame. dumb.

Anyway, instead of continuing to beat myself up about it I'll start over....again. and how you ask?!  This time I'm going to try and make my goal more realistic. maybe just lose 5 pounds in a couple of months first. Maybe just increase my workout time to one more day or 30 more minutes. Maybe just buy all fresh, non-processed things. Maybe I can just have a goal of feeling better and forget about the number on the scale and on my pants. It's going to take dedication and hard work...it will not be easy and happen automatically (which I have to CONSTANTLY remind myself). It really is all in my mind, it's a test of will power and determination and continuing through the hard times...ha...sounds like I'm about to go fight in some war or something... I guess it's easy really. I choose to do it every day or I choose not to. There are no excuses.
I will not give up and I really don't want this to be on my resolution list for 15 more years!!! I don't want to stop when I'm tired. I want to stop when I'm done.:)

Christmas!!!

I know it's a little early to post stuff about Christmas but I found this video and didn't want to lose it. It is one of the cutest things ever! and I guess it's never too early to celebrate the birth of our Savior anyway right?! :) ENJOY