work

So I've been a nurse for about 8 months now and it still feels like I just started! I feel so young and inadequate. There are times when I'm not sure if I even picked the right career. why am I doing this?! I wonder. This job can be crazy stressful. You have the potential of really hurting someone if you are not always paying attention...and I guess I knew this when I decided to be a nurse but it never really hit me until I had my own patients that depended on ME for their care. SCARY.  I have to stick babies with needles, give nasty medicine, wake kids and parents up all night. I have to hear bad news, see families that don't care, and see some of the worst things people do to the innocent. I get yelled at by doctors, by other nurses, by families, and by every other service in the hospital. I have hundreds of things to do and very little/rushed time to do them. This is hard. There are days I feel like crying...sometimes I feel like giving up. and no one seems to understand. I've thought about going back to school to study something different. Maybe one day I will but I think for now this is what I am supposed to be doing. I found this poster I made my first semester of nursing school and I wrote some of the reasons I chose to do this in the first place. Hard work  equals helping others was one of the things I wrote. I chose to do this crazy stressful and challenging job to help others.
I learn something new every time I work...which is kind of cool. It's NEVER boring or predictable. It always makes me smile when I'm holding a baby and think..."this is my job to hold a baby!" I get to meet some pretty wonderful and resilient kids. I hear good news, see miracles, and watch kids go home. I'm able to be someone's advocate during a vulnerable time. I am constantly amazed at the strength my patients have.

I guess every job will have it's ups and downs right? When I look back at the points I have felt most overwhelmed I realize that I had forgotten why I'm doing what I'm doing. I forget that I'm not really the one in charge but God is. I forget that these are people that are scared and sick...this is not just another day at work it is an important day in some person's life.  I'm sure there will be many times in this career that I feel completely overwhelmed. But if I just remember EVERY single day I go into work...the reason I am there and the things those patients are going through, I think I can do this. If I give my worries and stresses and inadequacies to God....I think I can do this. If I go to work excited, happy, positive and in a great mood...If I keep my dream of doing medical missions in sight... If I continue to learn and grow and stand up for myself and my kiddos...I think I can do this.   Just pray for me!!!